See my 2 sketches? If I fall, one has a safety net to catch me, whilst the other one doesn’t. When a person is down and out, do you know what makes the biggest difference concerning his or her next steps? The answer is: “A backup plan”.

If I quit my job, can I survive without food? Maybe for a few days. But I know myself, I’ll be very miserable not eating. I’m always feeling hungry! Can I ask my husband to eat plain bread+water, so he can split his lunch money with me? Probably, but I would need to be on talking terms with him first. I have my pride, I’m not going to do that, not even for food! 😑

I have some friends who were still bumming around at home, because they can afford to wait for that job that allows them to do “strategic thinking”. How lucky they are to have such good parents who understand them! After all, we are graduates, so what’s the point of getting a degree if we still end up doing operational work? One university mate was even luckier! His parents gave him $30,000 to start his own business. Yet another mate – wow! – he practically hit the jackpot! His parents bought him an electronic organ, because he told them he wanted to discover his musical talents (this was after he earned his degree in banking!) Will my parents support me whilst I wait out the financial crisis? It’s very unlikely, and anyway I would be at their mercy, and my mum will probably yell non-stop at me for still using her money! I doubt I can hide in peace in my bedroom.

So the answer was very clear. I had no choice. Being the ‘monkey mind’, I contemplated other means. I can get a divorce, then I can find a rich man to feed me. But I need money to get a divorce, where will I find the money? Can I borrow money from my mum? Will my old-school mum support my decision to get a divorce? And in order to hook a rich man, I needed to get my beauty back! Was it a guarantee that I could hook a rich man?

My miserable thoughts even brought me to ponder over the meaning of existence and of life. Why do we suffer? Everyone must die when our time is up. Why was I put on this Earth to suffer? Was I suffering because of the misdeeds of my past life? Will I still need to suffer in my next life? Should I end my life?