In my survival chic series ____ , I told you that good Feng Shui is first about doing what’s right for you! You! For once in your life, put yourself first!!! In the face of adversity (my husband and I were living a dog’s life, yet we could barely hold onto our jobs, and our marriage was in shambles), I advised you to put your dreams and ideals away for the moment. Forget about being a good person, a good employee, a good wife, a good daughter, a good daughter-in-law, or a good citizen. Forget all of that! And do what you need to do to keep your job, and if you are married, do what you need to do to keep your marriage. Take care of your own business first! To keep your job, you need to be in your best form. Best of health, best attitude, best performance. Just giving your utmost best to your company will ensure that you (at least) keep it. For your marriage to work, you need to guard it and protect it! The concept of ‘❤true love❤ conquers all’ only applies if you are Snow White, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. Being practical and realistic are the root principles of good Feng Shui! An ordinary person must gain a foothold in the ‘market’ of life first, before you talk about your dreams and your ideals.
在我的生存时尚系列中____，我告诉过你，好风水首先是做适合你的事情！您！在你的生命中的一次，把自己放在第一位！面对逆境（我和丈夫生活得象一条狗，但我们几乎不能坚持工作，而我们的婚姻就快崩溃），我建议你暂时放弃你的梦想和理想。忘掉做一个好人，一个好员工，一个好妻子，一个好女儿，一个好媳妇或者一个好公民。忘掉所有这些！做你需要做的事来保住你的工作，如果你已经结婚了，你必须尽一切来保持你的婚姻。先照顾自己的事业！为了保持你的工作，你需要以最佳的状态。最好的健康，最好的态度，最好的表现。只要给你的公司最大限度地保证你（至少）保留它。为了你的婚姻工作，你需要保护它！如果你是白雪公主，灰姑娘和睡美人，那么’真爱征服所有人’的概念才适用。务实和现实是良好风水的根本原则！在谈论你的梦想和理想之前，一个普通人必须首先在生活的“市场”中站稳脚步。
So my husband managed to change jobs, and this time, he ‘succeeded’ in getting a job in the Financial Sector, which was more relevant to our course of study in University. But because the economy was still in recession, he had to accept a pay cut. Take it or leave it.
Nothing else has changed. As you know, whoever starts in a new job goes through the same cycle:
Very seldom do we hear of a person who is all-systems-go when they start on a new job! Only 1 phrase suits this incredibly trying period: Swim or drown.
It was another terrible time, not only for him, but also for me. My husband wanted so badly to fit into this new job, so he worked even longer hours trying to grasp the ropes. It was in effect a 20-hour 7-day work week for him. This meant even more trouble for our very shaky marriage, but what could either of us do?! And worse, because my husband was never at home anymore, my Mother-in-law brought it upon herself to teach me the duties of a subservient daughter-in-law! 😱
Time dragged on, and the economy got out of recession. But there is no good story to tell because my husband and I were still tired, poor, miserable and unhappy. Whatever pittance we earned, we scrimped and saved every cent. It is in our Eastern upbringing to save for a rainy day, and our parents were already nagging us to save up for the next recession! One evening, on a rare occasion that my sister-in-law came back to her maternal home for dinner, my mother-in-law told everyone to go sit in the living room, and her daughter-in-law (me!) will take care of the dishes. The tv was on, they were talking as a family, but Cinderella me had to do the dishes in that hot and stuffy kitchen. I was so tired from office work and housework, and I really wondered why the hell did I get married for?! 🤬 To get so tired, and to be treated like an outsider in this home!!! I don’t know what I did first, but I threw each and every damn cutlery loudly into the sink after soaping them, and I also cried. But how will tears help?! Thankfully, my husband, who was told to come home early for his sister’s rare visit, heard the commotion and he came in and he said he would help me with the rest of the housework. That night, I told him that I cannot take it anymore, and that if he wanted us (his Father, his Mother, his sister and me) to have a future together, we have to move out and soon. You’d think I would have asked for a divorce, and till today I don’t know why I struck a bargain with him instead. Perhaps it was because I did that, but he agreed. We found out that we qualified for the $40,000 housing grant that the government gave to first-time buyers (but to qualify for this scheme, we had to buy a place ____ km from our parent’s place). The HDB (Housing and Development Board of Singapore) letter came, my Mother-in-law freaked out, and she cried buckets and buckets of tears! Even though we were just moving to the flat opposite her block, she would not listen, and she pushed my husband to the ground for abandoning her. How can a son abandon his Mother, she wailed as she thumped her fist to her heart!!! I will never forget the pain on my husband’s face, and my Mother-in-law’s sorrow that night. We moved, and my husband went home to see his mother every night, but she locked herself in the room and refused to talk to him. This is all my fault.
终于给我先生盼到：他可以在金融界做工了！！！那时还是金融危机，聘请他的公司给他的条件并不优惠（应为你并没有相关经验），你要就拿，不要我们还有很多‘候选人’。虽然减薪，不过我先生非常非常感激！每个人在新的公司上班都得经历同样的过程：
（一）工作导论（新的环境）
（二）新的同事（没有人陪我吃午餐）
（三）你负责的工作范围（这是什么？大学有教我们吗？）
（四）开会议（你们到底在说什么？！）
（五）值班（我应该是搞错了，我换工作是对的吗？！）
总之一句话：是你的工作，你一定自己要想办法。不行的话，你就‘走人’😱
这下我们可惨了！我们破碎的婚姻根本不能承受这种压力和损伤。不过我先生没有办法，既然是他的工作，他得咬紧牙根撑下去！他为了要混合新的环境，他把自己‘卖’给公司，每日二十小时七天都留在办公室。我家婆看到宝贝儿子很少回家，决定要亲自调教调教她的媳妇（我！）。我完蛋了！
时间过了, 亚洲金融危机复苏并没有让我们好过一点。我们省吃俭用，每个月底还是只能存那一点点钱。爸妈不断唠叨我们：要省钱，要省钱，要省钱！如果再有金融危机怎么办？所以你们要省钱！那天，我们家来了一位‘稀客’我大姑。我家婆再三提醒我们一定要早点回来。吃饭后，家婆叫他们全家到客厅做，媳妇（我！）负责收拾碗碟。电视开着，他们一家人聚在一起。我还记得那天的碗碟贴得特别高，特别多，我在那又闷又热的厨房时，我问我自己是为了什么要结婚？是为了过这种生活？家婆根本不把我当成她的家人！我做了一天的工，回来还要帮忙家务事，现在还要洗碗，累死了！不知所措时，脾气变差就不知不觉把刀叉丢入厨房水槽，又觉得自己很可怜，真的很累，眼泪不停流。先生可能听到不寻常的‘骚动’就跑进厨房，叫我休息，他帮我洗。那天晚上，我没有闹离婚，只是心平气和说我们搬出去吧，不然这个家庭局面（他爸妈，他姐姐和我）是不会有好结局的。可能我跟他谈条件（而不是发我平时的‘疯’），先生竟然说OK。我到今天还不知道我为什么那晚没有闹离婚？！可能在那‘决定命运’的夜晚，我真的太累了！投降了！😭
建屋发展局那时候有一个政府措施：只要我们买的政府组屋离父母的家没有超过XX公里，政府就会补贴我们四万块钱。家婆看到建屋发展局的信笺，还没听我先生的解释，就哀伤地哭了起来！我们只是搬到她的对面组屋座，不过她根本听不进去，只握紧拳头不断拍打她的胸口！我先生跑过去想安慰她，她却把她宝贝儿子推到地上，说他不孝，竟然抛弃生了他的妈妈！！！我到今天还不能忘记那天我先生痛苦的表情和我家婆的悲伤。他们的痛让我心里留下深深的伤疤。这全是我的错。😭😭😭
