I’ve been on slow motion multitasking mode for some time now. I know that I should go faster, and every single day, I tell myself that I have to do better, but so far it’s been a drag! A 3-year drag – gasp!!! I console myself that it’s far better than not doing anything. I’m tormented by my logical brain, which tells me that I’m a fool for dragging my feet and just going through the motions. This blog that I first started work on in mid-2016, it’s not even halfway where I want it to be. But exactly where do I want it to be? I recall that shortly after I started work on this website, I told a house guest staying with me at that time, that I wanted to write and to tell people that it is normal to experience ups and downs in our lives. I’m the most qualified person to tell you about ups and downs, because it depicts my life story so far. On down days, we think that it’s never going to work out, and that we are better off dead. On glory days, we are impenetrable! Whichever stage you are at in your life, continue to do what you have to. Just don’t stop! Slow mo if you have to!
我一直在慢动作多任务处理模式已有一段时间了。我知道我应该走得更快，而且每一天，我告诉自己我必须做得更好，但到目前为止，这是一个拖累！ 3年拖累 – 喘息！我安慰自己，这比不做任何事情要好得多。我被我的逻辑大脑折磨着，这告诉我，我是一个傻瓜，拖着我的脚，只是通过动作。这篇博客是我在2016年中期开始研发的，它甚至还不到我想要的那一半。但究竟我想要它在哪里？我记得在我开始在这个网站上工作后不久，我告诉住在我家的一位住客，我想写一下，并告诉人们在我们的生活中经历起起落落是正常的。我是最有资格告诉你跌宕起伏的人，因为它描绘了我迄今为止的生活故事。在萧条的日子里，我们认为它永远不会成功，而且我们死得更好。在辉煌的日子里，我们是难以捉摸的！无论你在生活中处于哪个阶段，都要继续做你想做的事。只是不要停止！如果你不得不慢慢来！
It was never my intention to create and to maintain a blog. Good heavens, no! I’m just an ordinary person, remember? I don’t want to do anything out of the ordinary. So at that time, I was sticking out like a sore thumb whenever my husband took me out. I don’t know if he truly knew how inferior I felt. Yeah, I did tell him that I feel stupid not being able to contribute to the conversation, but he would tell me not to be silly, and he would add: “You are my wife.” Like what’s that supposed to mean? Whatever it is, after a while, he stopped taking me out. Was it in response to his friend’s feedback ‘was your wife very bored? She did not say a single word last night’, or was it because I kept grumbling to him that ‘I felt like an outcast last night’? When I asked him why he was the only one going to a function, he would say that the other company had a budget cut, and they invited one pax only. Whether it was this or that, one thing was very obvious to me. I was the one who had to change. I have to up my game and improve myself to be on a comparable level to my very successful husband!!!
我从来没有打算创建和维护博客。天哪，不！我只是一个普通人，还记得吗？我不想做任何与众不同的事情。所以那个时候，每当我丈夫把我带出去的时候，我就会像拇指一样伸出来。我不知道他是否真的知道我的感觉有多么低劣。是的，我确实告诉他我觉得愚蠢无法为谈话做出贡献，但他会告诉我不要傻，他会补充说：“你是我的妻子。”那是什么意思？不管是什么，过了一会儿，他就不再把我带出去了。这是对他朋友的反馈的回应吗？你的妻子非常无聊吗？她昨晚没说一句话，或是因为我一直抱怨他’我昨晚感觉像是一个被抛弃的人’？当我问他为什么他是唯一一个参加比赛的人时，他会说另一家公司有预算削减，他们只邀请了一个人。无论是这个还是那个，有一件事对我来说非常明显。我是那个不得不改变的人。我必须提高自己的水平并提高自己，以达到与我非常成功的丈夫相当的水平！
So no lah! It never crossed my mind to blog. Who did I think I was to call myself a blogger? I am just a nobody. Blogging is for super talented and skilled writers, who also possess the designer eye. At that time when I was contemplating how I could up my game and improve myself, I looked at XiaXue’s (she is the only famous blogger that I have heard of in my small housewife world) blog for the first time, and I could immediately see why she is a successful blogger. Wow! She’s so beautiful, her blog looks amazing and is she a photographer as well? Those photos in her blog are fantastic! As I wow at her talent, I know that I was a far cry from what she is doing. More importantly, I know that it is a lot of hard work behind her blog. I could not imagine, and thus I was not prepared to put in that kind of hard work. The housework and volunteer work were already killing me.
所以没有啦！ 它永远不会让我想到博客。 谁我认为我自称是博客？ 我只是一个人。 博客是针对超级才华和技术熟练的作家，他们也拥有设计师的眼光。 当那时我正在考虑如何改善自己的游戏并改善自己，我第一次看到了夏雪（她是我在小家庭主妇世界中唯一知名的博主）博客，我可以立刻看到 为什么她是一位成功的博主。 哇！ 她很漂亮，她的博客看起来很神奇，她也是一名摄影师？ 她博客中的那些照片太棒了！ 当我对她的才华惊叹时，我知道我与她所做的事情相去甚远。 更重要的是，我知道她的博客背后有很多艰苦的工作。 我无法想象，因此我不准备投入那种艰苦的工作。 家务和志愿者工作已经在扼杀我。
Having come to that conclusion, I knew my next move. I had to write my CV (notice that I did not say ‘update my CV’?), so that I could find a job. I was a housewife who had been out of the work force for *** years. The word CV sounds so foreign. It was a busy time for the few months that I took to search high and low for my paper qualifications. Gosh, did I throw them all away? Maybe I happily did, because I never intended to return to the work force! Turn on my hubby’s laptop, yup, I can do that. Damn, since when did the functions of Microsoft Word become so complicated? Where is the font button? How to bold the text? Argh! What happened? What did I accidently click??? The ‘toolbar’ (now I know it’s called toolbar) disappeared!!! At that time, I asked my husband about the grey bar at the top with the tiny buttons. What do the buttons mean? It was a struggle to type my CV, and I was a bit flustered because I used to be a computer pro***. And the damn cursor, why does it disappear suddenly and then re-appear in the monitor? Eventually my husband said: “Look, why don’t you just type in the text, and I’ll help you to format it all in one go.” See? If even my husband got impatient with my computer questions, how far do you expect me to go in the work force? I got angry with him and I yelled: “If you had hired a maid to clean this house, I would not have to be bogged down by all the damn housework, and I would have the time to learn Microsoft Word!!!”
得出这个结论后，我知道我的下一步行动。我不得不写我的简历（注意我没说’更新我的简历’？），这样我才能找到工作。我是一名家庭主妇，已经离开了工作了很多年。简历这个词听起来很陌生。几个月来我忙着为我的论文资格搜索高低。天哪，我把它们扔掉了吗？也许我开心地做了，因为我从没打算回到工作岗位！打开我老公的笔记本电脑，是的，我能做到。该死的，从什么时候开始，Microsoft Word的功能变得如此复杂？字体按钮在哪里？如何加粗文字？哎呀！发生了什么？我有什么意外点击??? ‘工具栏’（现在我知道它叫做工具栏）消失了！那时，我用微小的按钮问我丈夫顶部的灰色条。按钮是什么意思？输入我的简历很困难，我有点心慌，因为我曾经是一个计算机专业人士。该死的光标，它为什么突然消失然后重新出现在显示器中？最后，我的丈夫说：“看，你为什么不输入文字，我会帮你一次性格式化。”看到？即使我的丈夫对我的电脑问题感到不耐烦，你还希望我在工作人员中走多远？我生他的气，我大喊：“如果你雇了一个女仆来清理这个房子，我就不会被所有该死的家务所困扰，我会有时间学习微软Word !!!”
He was contrite (or was it because I yelled at him?), and he spent the next few months teaching me the functions of Microsoft Word, after he came home from work. But hang on! What about Excel and Powerpoint? Ya, of course I would need to learn those too, because I am going to apply to be an administrative staff. LOL! What did you think? That I would be so unrealistic and that I would apply for a Business Development Manager, or a Senior Finance Executive post? I just want to go back to the workforce, not take on the most stressful job! That would be foolhardy indeed. Seeing him suffer through endless nights being my personal computer tutor made me feel bad. He was a busy man, and instead of having a good rest after work, he had to answer stupid questions such as: “sorry, darling, last time you taught me about page numbering, but I have forgotten how to do that. Can you teach me again? Sorry sorry…” I thought about taking refresher courses in computing, but what the heck, do I really want to go back to school?!
他很懊悔（或者是因为我对他大吼大叫？），他在接下来的几个月里教我微软Word的功能。 但坚持下去！ 那么Excel和Powerpoint呢？ 雅，当然我也需要学习这些，因为我将申请成为一名行政人员。 大声笑！ 你觉得呢？ 那我是如此不切实际，我会申请业务发展经理，或高级财务执行官职位？ 我只想回到劳动力队伍，而不是承担最紧张的工作！ 那确实是蛮干的。 看到他经历了无尽的夜晚成为我的个人电脑导师让我心疼。 他是一个忙碌的人，而不是在下班后好好休息，他不得不回答愚蠢的问题，例如：“对不起，亲爱的，上次你教我关于页码编号，但我忘记了怎么做。你能不能 再教我一次？抱歉抱歉……“我想考虑参加计算机的进修课程，但是到底是什么，我真的想回到学校吗？！
So it was under such circumstances that this blog was created. LOL! I was typing my CV, intending to go back to the workforce, and after flipping the recruitment pages, I honestly did not know who to send my CV to. Once again, I was thrown back to the time where employers out there were choosing me.*** And boy! – once again – they would not choose me! What the hell??? Have I come full circle?!
The criteria for employment has not changed much from 20 years ago:
| Advertisement | In My Life | Pass or Fail |
| At least working for X number of years. Fresh graduate need not apply. | Housewife. I have not been working for *** years. Am I equivalent to a fresh graduate then? I must be the oldest fresh graduate to send in my CV. | Fail |
| Must have X number of years in the relevant field | I have not kept in touch with society, except with Mr Grocery Man | Fail |
| Computer savvy | Can’t even format a simple document | Fail |
| A go-getter, focused and driven to excel | I don’t have that drive to succeed. What drive? I can vacuum and mop really fast. Is that considered driven? | Fail |
| A team player, gets along well with colleagues | I have been a recluse for *** years | Fail |
Gulp! I’m lucky that I am not desperately needing the money from this job, otherwise what would I do, having sunk my feet so deep into my role as a housewife? I don’t meet any of the recruitment criteria, and that’s really not good! It’s bad. What have I let myself become?!
I said a silent prayer in thanks. I’m really grateful that my husband and I managed to Make Feng Shui Work! Here’s a rotten apple trying to look for a job, thank goodness I don’t need the money! Well, it’s not that I don’t need the money, but as my husband puts it, a housewife who was never a high-flyer looking to re-enter the workforce can at most earn $1.8k to $2.5k. Why? I’m not good enough to land the juicy roles, but if I was willing to work weekends and do shift work, I definitely can get a job. After contributing CPF, my take home will only be $1000+ bucks. Our life is not going to get better or fare worse with this $1000+, so to speak.
所以在这样的情况下，这个博客就被创建了。 大声笑！ 我正在输入我的简历，打算回到劳动力队伍，在翻阅招聘页面之后，老实说，我不知道将简历发送给谁。 再一次，我被抛回到那里的雇主选择我的时候。***和男孩！ – 再次 – 他们不会选择我！ 我勒个去？？？ 我来完整圈了吗？！
就业标准与20年前相比没有太大变化：
| 广告 | 在我生命中 | 通过或失败 |
| 至少工作X年。 新毕业生不需要申请。 | 家庭主妇。 我没有工作过***年。 我相当于一个刚毕业的学生呢？ | |
| 在相关领域必须有X年 | 除了Grocery Man先生之外，他们没有与社会保持联系 | |
| 精通计算机 | 甚至无法格式化简单文档 | |
| 一个干将，专心致志，精益求精 | 我没有成功的动力。 什么车？ 我可以真空吸尘和拖把。 这被认为是驱动？ | |
| 团队合作者，与同事相处融洽 | 已成为***年的隐士 |
一饮而尽！ 我很幸运，我并不急需这笔工作的钱，否则我会做什么，让我的脚深深陷入家庭主妇的角色？ 我不符合任何招聘标准，这真的不好！ 这不好。 我让自己变成了什么？！
我在谢谢时默默祈祷。 我真的很感激我的丈夫和我设法让风水工作！ 这是一个试图寻找工作的烂苹果，谢天谢地，我不需要钱！ 好吧，并不是我不需要这笔钱，但正如我丈夫所说的那样，一位从未想过要重新进入劳动力市场的高级传单的家庭主妇最多只能赚到18,000美元到2.5万美元。 为什么？ 我不能很好地担任多方角色，但如果我愿意周末工作并转移工作，我绝对可以找到工作。 在提供公积金之后，我带回家只需1000美元以上。 这1000美元以上我们的生活不会变得更好或更糟，可以这么说。
So toss in a few more months of contemplating which employer will take me… of course there were none. Why? I am just an ordinary person. I don’t want to do anything out of the ordinary, remember? I had my own search criteria that was typical of an ordinary person***! I’m no longer the desperate fresh graduate from 20 years ago looking for a job to survive***!!! Whew! Thank God for that. That’s why you and I, we must Make Feng Shui Work!
所以在几个月的时间里考虑哪个雇主会带我……当然没有。 为什么？ 我只是一个普通人。 我不想做任何与众不同的事，还记得吗？ 我有自己的搜索标准，这是普通人的典型标准！ 我不再是20年前绝望的新毕业生寻找生存的工作***！呼！ 感谢上帝。 这就是为什么每个人都必须让风水工作！
